EVER CATCH YOURSELF nitpicking every single thing you’ve ever done wrong? Like, “Wow, I really nailed that awkward silence in a conversation three years ago, good job me.” Welcome to the Overthinkers Club, where the membership is eternal, and the meetings are 24/7 in your brain. Self-judgment is like that rude roommate who eats your snacks, criticizes your life choices, and somehow always gets the bigger side of the couch. It delights in reminding you of every flaw, mistake, and embarrassing moment like it’s curating a personal greatest hits album of your failures. Fun, right?
But here’s the plot twist no one told us: the stuff we criticize ourselves for? It wasn’t always useless. Nope, even the cringe-worthy quirks had a purpose once. That perfectionism you’re dragging around? Maybe it helped you crush a job where “good enough” wasn’t in the vocabulary. That habit of hiding under a blanket (literal or metaphorical) instead of dealing with people? Maybe it helped you recharge when life felt like a 24-hour karaoke marathon with no breaks. Even the weird stuff we roast ourselves for often started as survival tools. Congrats, past you was just trying to make it through life’s Hunger Games.
But here’s the thing...
These habits? They’re like that one friend who doesn’t know when the party’s over. They overstay their welcome, even when you’re moving on. And instead of kindly retiring, they morph into an emotional carry-on bag with a busted zipper, dragging behind you as you trudge through life. Ten bucks says you’ve never stopped to ask yourself: “Wait, why am I still carrying this baggage? Did it actually help me once, and does it even still apply?”
Time to Flip the Script
Here’s an idea: instead of letting your inner critic run the show like a snarky reality TV host, flip the script. When that voice chimes in with “Hey, remember that thing you did that sucked?”—hit pause. Instead of roasting yourself, try reflecting. Ask, “Why am I feeling this way? What’s this judgment trying to protect me from? And seriously, can it chill out for like... five minutes?”
Spoiler: Self-Kindness Isn’t Lazy
Let’s get one thing straight: being kind to yourself doesn’t mean slacking off or dodging the hard work of growth. It means acknowledging that roasting yourself on a spit every day isn’t exactly a motivational strategy. Real growth happens when you give yourself space to mess up, learn, and maybe laugh a little along the way. Newsflash: you’re not a robot. You’re human, and humans? We’re messy. Deal with it.
So, here’s your challenge. Think of something you’ve been ridiculously hard on yourself about lately. Got it? Now, take a hot second to trace it back. Why do you feel this way? Did that self-criticism serve a purpose once, and is it still holding up its end of the deal? Or is it just dead weight you’ve been lugging around? Bonus points if you can laugh at how absurdly mean you’ve been to yourself over something that’s likely... not that deep.
Give your inner critic a new job—like, I don’t know, creative consultant instead of full-time destroyer of self-esteem. Be curious about yourself. Poke fun at yourself, sure, but with love. And who knows? That overly judgy voice might just surprise you with some actual wisdom... once it learns some manners.
Until next time,
-Grady Pope
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